A colleague recently approached me with an idea of setting up a group of like-minded mothers who are ready to transition back to work.  We wanted to offer a collaborative and supportive environment where women feel free to share their fears and aspirations – somewhere they can inspire and be inspired to move onto the next phase of their lives.

Last night we finally hosted the very first meeting of  ’Kitchen Table Talks’ and after a brief introduction (and a glass of wine!) the floodgates opened to reveal an amalgam of common apprehensions and challenges that were clearly getting in the way of success – the feelings of isolation and huge lack  of confidence in their ability to get unstuck and move forward.

These individual mums  were experts in talking themselves down, totally unaware of their own talents until the group reminded them about their achievements.   Degrees, published books, high-powered jobs –  all long-forgotten or dismissed as irrelevant in their current lives.

As everyone opened up and joined the debate the room was buzzing with excitement and things began to happen.  One mum breathed a sigh of relief when she realised she wasn’t the only one feeling the way she felt, another had a great business idea revived by the group and support and encouragement was offered in bucket-loads to each member in turn.

The collective wisdom of the group generated ideas and offered immediate access to lots of different perspectives and it was so exciting to watch as the momentum of energy accelerated everyone’s motivation.

As the hour and a half meeting rolled into three hours I left the table feeling certain that something had shifted and this powerful group of women were on the cusp of a new phase in their lives.  Then I woke up this morning to the news that the motto for the London Olympics has been revealed as “Inspire a generation” – I couldn’t have said it better myself!

Posted by Cheryl Goldenberg (‘Gold’ Founder & Principal  Coach) http://uk.linkedin.com/in/cherylperformancecoach

During the course of three hours I managed to spend some time with four different mentors ranging from an Entrepreneur to a Marketing Maestro and  the buzz in the room was electric.  Everyone wanted to talk about their business ideas and get guidance and advice from the ‘experts’ but the most stunning results for me came from simply sharing my story.

I’ve been coaching women back to work after maternity leave for the past six years and recently decided to write a book about it but when I started talking about it with this group of unknown people I was totally unprepared for the reaction I got.  Obviously I believe in the project because I’m on the inside, but when I saw that so many outside people thought it was a great idea  I felt a real shift. 

The process of sharing was so powerful that when I got home I emailed the entire delegate list asking for people to interview and was subsequently bombarded by messages of support and offers of help.

As if this wasn’t enough, on the train home I came across this article in the Evening Standard about ‘Forget bathtime: working parents can’t have it all’  http://tinyurl.com/786epw4 so even the universe was encouraging me to discuss the elephant in the room and allow Mums to have their say about how it really feels to be torn between work and home and what ‘having it all’ really means to them.

Sharing works for me – try it and let me know if it works for you.

Posted by Cheryl Goldenberg (‘Gold’ Founder & Principal Coach) http://uk.linkedin.com/in/cherylperformancecoach

I heard some amazing stories about women who have achieved success with their businesses by doing what they believe in, playing to their strengths and having a passion for their product.

Women like Vanita Parti, founder of Blink Brow Bar who gave up a high-flying corporate career to launch a business that would make life simpler for busy women.  While most people were talking about their detailed business plans, Vanita admitted she is more of an instinct-led entrepreneur and it’s her instinct that led her to open her first Brow Bar in New York earlier this year.

Another woman who stood out from the crowd was Emma Elston, a director of  ‘UK Container Maintenance Limited’.  Billed as ’a market-leading, nationwide waste and re-cycling container repair and refurbishment company’  it’s the least glamourous business you could think of but Emma and her husband have proved that there really is money in rubbish bins.  With 8 GCSEs and nothing more than a desire to succeed, Emma’s natural business aptitude led her to identify and fix a problem with broken bins and she oozes passion when she talks about it.

There were so many other women entrepreneurs playing to their strengths including Marie Sawle, a nutritionist who has developed a nutritionally based ice-cream product for dogs called ‘Billy & Margot’ (named after her own  dogs - the inspiratation for the product) and Carla Cotterell who has given up a successful corporate sales career to set up her own on-line furniture business based on products that she loves.

The message from the day was loud and clear – be authentic, do something you believe in and do it with passion and in case anyone needs a bit of help along the way, the new Everywoman Network Challenges http://www.everywoman.com/network/challenges  offer a suite of tools and resources to help you focus on areas of self development, that will challenge you, help you create vision to navigate your path towards business success.

After a day of networking, panel discussions, masterclasses and motivational speakers I left the conference with a clear sense of purpose and renewed determination.  The main message for me was  ‘REMEMBER WHAT YOU’RE GOOD AT – YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE GOOD AT EVERYTHING’.

Posted by Cheryl Goldenberg (‘Gold’ Founder & Principal Coach) http://uk.linkedin.com/in/cherylperformancecoach

The book says ’great organisations and effective managers create a Carrot Culture one person at a time by using a variety of inclusive and meaningful recognition experiences’ and I was part of one of those experiences yesterday  when I attended an Emerging Leaders Graduation at the iconic BT Tower in London.

The event was based around a year-long programme run by a BT Openreach division to support the most talented and previously unrecognised team members to expand their knowledge, self-awareness and career options.  My team and I had been working with these guys and supporting them in  their personal development and career planning, so yesterday was a fantastic opportunity to see just how far they have come since last October.

All the stops were pulled out to make this a very special day.  We were welcomed by the Director of Service, provided with a fantastic lunch on the 34th floor of the revolving tower and spent a couple of  hours working on a ’Dragons Den’ style business challenge.  

But the most memorable part of the event was the graduation ceremony where the entire Emerging Leaders team was presented with a certificate and some very warm words recognising each individual’s unique contribution to the programme.

According to the book this was a  ‘Celebration Event’ to mark the successful completion of a key project but it also marked a key transition in the graduates careers.  The Director ended the day by offering some good advice together with more challenges to ensure they continue to learn whilst enjoying their work and delivering for the business.

I think everyone left the building feeling a little bit special and walking a little bit taller.   They have been energised to create a great future for themselves and their organisation thanks to the effective use of the Carrot Principle.

Posted by Cheryl Goldenberg (‘Gold’ Founder & Principal Coach) http://uk.linkedin.com/in/cherylperformancecoach

“This year’s National everywoman Conference, on the 1st of November 2011 at the Grand Connaught Rooms in London is set to be a great day jam-packed with inspirational speakers! 
 
We are offering network members the chance to attend the conference with a friend for £95 + VAT

During this fast-paced high-energy day you’ll hear how:
           You can inject authenticity, integrity and your own spirit into your business
           A group of successful women play to their strengths to make their businesses stand out from the crowd
 
You’ll also have the opportunity to learn how to:
           Present with impact to win business
           Use social media to engage an audience in a way that feels right for you
 
Put yourself on centre stage and leave refreshed, invigorated and motivated – you’ll come away with:
           Fresh thinking
           Market insight
           New contacts
 
To take up this amazing offer, book your place here http://tinyurl.com/5s8abju  by Sunday 23 October using the special promotional code ‘LMD2’ for 2 tickets which needs to booked individually, so each delegate can book on to their chosen master classes.  Please state the network you have booked from”

It’s always a fantastic event and I guarantee it will motivate and inspire you.  Look forward to seeing you there.

Posted by Cheryl Goldenberg (‘Gold’ Founder & Principal Coach) http://uk.linkedin.com/in/cherylperformancecoach

I tend to avoid any event where swapping business cards is the main aim.  It’s so contrived and often a waste of time because most of the cards tend to get filed in the  bin under ‘Irrelevant’ when I get back in the office.

But why does networking have to be so formal?  If it’s all about connecting with people and developing your business, why not choose to be around the right people – with similar interests and values, people who will ‘get’ you and your product? 

One of my favourite events is coming up very soon – the 11th annual National everywoman Conference, The Art of Business Success takes place on Tuesday 1 November at the Grand Connaught Rooms, London.

“The theme of the day is structured around developing your identity as a successful businesswoman  and the agenda is packed with charismatic female entrepreneurs who know how important it is to hone your performance and presence. Like any art, no matter how much you love it, you still need to constantly practice and these women will show how with hard work and determination they started their own businesses from scratch and now enjoy global recognition”.

What I love about this event is that it’s full of female entrepreneurs taking a day out of the office to soak up the latest thinking and ideas from a team of successful speakers as well as having the opportunity to chat to everyone in the room and get some new ideas.

The agenda is always exciting and this year is no exception.  It kicks off with a Keynote Speech ‘The Power of Performance’ by Maria Kempinska MBE, Founder of Jongleurs who will share her journey and tell us about her experience, followed by a Panel Discussion ‘Play to your Stregths to Stand out from the Crowd’.

Over lunch we will have plenty of ‘networking’ opportunities and, judging by past experience, the buzz in the room will empower the most introspective delegate to start a conversation.

The afternoon offers a series of masterclasses including ’Your Red Carpet Moment – Create the Perfect Pitch’, ’Play to Your Audience – Understand the Digital Customer’ and ‘All the World’s a Stage – A Global Theatre for Your Brand’ and all this will be rounded off with a Motivational Session by Annie Ashdown from the Self Confidence Centre.

If you decide to join me at this great event you can book your ticket here http://www.everywoman.com/national and don’t forget to let me know - it will be great to meet up and experience networking as it should be done!

Posted by Cheryl Goldenberg (‘Gold’ Founder & Principal Coach) http://uk.linkedin.com/in/cherylperformancecoach

It seems sad that so many wonderful people leave their spirit at home and put on a corporate mask as they leave the front door because they’re too scared to show their real self in the workplace.

Who are you at home, who are you at work and what’s the difference?  If you feel like you have to act in a certain way when you get to the office I wonder what are you hiding and what are you hiding behind and I also wonder what would happen if you dared to be the REAL YOU everywhere? 

If you asked personal friends and work colleagues to describe you, would they be saying the same things – are they describing the same person? If there are discrepancies imagine how good it would feel to incorporate every bit of you into your working life? 

With the news that we’re all going to have to work longer there’s no point waiting for retirement to enjoy life.   Every day counts so you need to be honest and true to yourself and live life authentically and set yourself free.  

In the film ‘Born to be Wild’  Morgan Freeman explains that if elephants aren’t happy they don’t live.  Isn’t it the same for humans?  We need to be happy to live a fulfilling life and how can we be happy if we’re hiding the best bits of ourselves away?

A client recently said she felt really calm and comfortable during a career break but was imagining herself back in manic mode when she returned to work.   She described it as something that would automatically happen to her,  something she had no control over because she had always behaved that way at work.  

When I asked her to picture her new ‘calm’ self in the workplace she smiled.    She realised her public self and her private self were two parts of the same persona and there was no reason why she shouldn’t merge the two.   Suddenly the prospect of returning to work wasn’t so scarey because she could simply be herself and get the job done in a more efficient way.

I believe it’s time for us to integrate our personal and professional selves and take the advice of Nelson Mandela (in his inaugural speech) when he said:

“‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’  Actually, who are you not to be?  You’re playing small doesn’t serve the world.  There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people around you won’t feel insecure.  We are all meant to shine as children do.” 

Imagine how bright our world would be if we all did as he said and “let our light shine”.

Posted by Cheryl Goldenberg (‘Gold’ Founder & Principal Coach) http://uk.linkedin.com/in/cherylperformancecoach

Values play a fundamental role in how we perceive and interact with the world, how we interpret events and other peoples actions and behaviours. Its not always obvious. Our values and beliefs are often a sub-conscious filter through which we interpret everything around us and so play a fundamental role in how we respond – in our thoughts and behaviour. This sub-conscious influence sometimes leads to apparently irrational behaviour and decisions that are at best not constructive and often destructive or disastrous.

We acquire our values and beliefs over our entire lifetime, accepting the ways of our culture, our parents, our teachers and others around us. They may have been extremely valuable at the time we took them on board, but sometimes they outlive their usefulness and lead to behaviour that is no longer helpful in our current situation. Time spent reflecting on knowing our values and beliefs and evaluating how useful they continue to be to us right now, is time well spent.

Raising our conscious awareness of our values and beliefs gives us much more control over our personal thoughts and behaviour and makes us more aware of why we feel the way we do about a situation or person. It guides our choices and decision making at a conscious level and helps us to recognise when a choice does actually exist, even if the alternatives are somewhat unpalatable. We might recognise when our subconscious hijacks the decision making process when we feel there is only one way forward and no options.

So how does this extend to a team or whole organisation? Jeremy Darroch, chief executive of BSkyB, gave two great examples at the recent Institute of Directors Annual Convention. Fostering the mindset “Believe in Better” has created a culture where everyone at BSkyB applies innovative thinking to everything they do every day, right across the business from product development to accounts. Maintaining a consistent value set and core beliefs guided Procter and Gamble to move quickly and grow sustainably from a small enterprise selling soap up the Ohio River to a global company.

When values are a key component of strategy and are motivating – made real and alive from the executive team down, not just words on a page – they give people guidance in a way that rules and procedures alone do not. The strength comes from a clear value set that reaffirms the behaviour, actions and decisions made by all in the organisation. Getting everyone in the organisation involved and knowing how their role connects with the company success, focuses and guides everyone in one direction, even when facing new situations that rules and procedures do not (yet) cover. In contrast, consider the recent banking debacle – once people crossed the line beyond the rule book, they could and did go anywhere. In a rapidly changing world, consistent values and beliefs guide the way to sustainable success.

Posted by Dr. Sue Mitchell, Gold Performance Coach

http://uk.linkedin.com/in/cherylperformancecoach

The best 100 companies won their places by standing out from the crowd in terms of ‘leadership, wellbeing, people’s personal development and overall sense of affiliation’.  These employers know their organisation is only as good as the sum of its parts and act accordingly, acknowledging people’s specialness and uniqueness to get the best out of them.  

Companies like Shine Communications -  ranked 3rd in the list, and scoring 93% at encouraging personal growth.   The name of this PR agency is the clue to their values – it takes its name from an extract of  Nelson Mandela’s inaugural speech “And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same” and staff say that senior managers truly live the values of the organisation. 

By actively encouraging interesting individuality they’ve developed into the UKs best performing PR Agency over the last 5 years with a much higher staff retention than average in their industry. 

Creativity expert Sir Ken Robinson challenges the way we’re educating our children. He champions a radical rethink of our school systems to create an education system that nurtures (rather than undermines) creativity http://tiny.cc/xxl66.  If our education system is guilty of squandering  childrens talents, our workplaces are often guilty of adding fuel to the fire.

How much more interesting our world would be if every parent, school and workplace encouraged people to be the very best version of themselves by nurturing their differences rather than trying to get them to fit into conventional moulds.

Instead of the usual list of famous people like Nelson Mandela or Winston Churchill their greatest inspiration time and again were the people closest to them.  Ordinary, real people who had just rolled their sleeves up and got on with things.

I was told about a sister who, in spite of a poor academic start to her career, has gone on to become MD of a large coporation whilst juggling a busy family life along the way.  In spite of her success she fails to see why anyone would describe her as inspiring. 

There was also a story of an ‘ordinary’ mother who had inspired her children to believe they could be whoever they wanted to be and achieve whatever they wanted to achieve by just being true to themselves.  She gave her children the greatest gifts of self-belief and a can-do attitude.

As with all great leaders, these women are good role models.  They are true to themselves, confident in their own skin, display a good measure of humility and don’t always have to be right.

Becoming an authentic leader is all about reaching your full potential whilst being true to your own values and beliefs.  You don’t have to be like anyone else in order to succeed – you just have to be your best self.  It’s ok to fail – that’s when you get the best learning.   It’s how you handle failure that’s important and how you use the learning. 

We discussed a number of key leadership ingredients and added a liberal sprinkling of  ‘magic fairydust’ to provide the authentic essence we were looking for.  We ended our session with a question – ‘what is your next step on the road to becoming an authentic leader?’ and agreed to keep the discussion going.

Please join the conversation on Twitter using #magicfairydust, or post your comments below – we would welcome your thoughts.

Posted by Cheryl Goldenberg (‘Gold’ Founder & Principal Coach) http://uk.linkedin.com/in/cherylperformancecoach